Duck,
Duck, GOOSE! Have any good jokes? Submit them to OregonFan to be published!
A Kindergarten teacher is talking
to her class during the 1st day of school. She has obvious Husky blood in her.
She asks the excited kids, "Who here is a Husky fan?" Being that the
kids are only 5 years old and having no knowledge of what a Husky fan is, all
the children throw thier hands up in the air except for this one little girl
in the back. The alarmed teacher says to the child, "Why didn't you raise
your hand?" The little girl says, "Cause I'm not a Husky fan, I'm
a Duck!" The angry teacher replies, "Why are you a Duck fan?"
And the little girl responds, "Because my mom and dad are Duck fans so
I'm a Duck fan." The teacher is now extremely angry. "That's no reason
to be a Duck fan! If your mother was an idiot and your father was an idiot,
then what would you be?" The little girl pauses, looks up smiling and says,
"A Husky fan."
courtesy of Trevor Dillard
Notice to all Oregon State University
Alumni
It has been observed that placing your OSU Diploma on your automobile dashboard
entitles you to use 'handicapped' designated parking. Further, you are hereby
advised that it is no longer necessary to kneel when in the presence of University
of Oregon students and alumni; a polite courtesy or bow is sufficient.
courtesy of Jennifer Erb
True Story:
'00 Kicker Josh Frankel told local media about how he was at the Oregon Electric
Station in Eugene for dinner after the Husky game in October 2000 (Oregon won
of course). Husky coach Rick Neuheisel was there and he ordered a steak. Josh
says that the waiter brought Neuheisel's steak served in a bowl, and Neuheisel
said, "Steaks shouldn’t be in a bowl.". To which the waiter responded, "Neither
should the Huskies."
courtesy of Old Daisy
After Dennis Erickson dies and enters
the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Dennis a little 2-room shack
with a faded Oregon Beavers banner from the front porch. "This is your house,
Coach! Most people don't get their own houses up here", God says. Dennis looks
at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill.
It is a huge 3-story brick mansion with white marble columns and little patios
under all the windows. Oregon Duck flags line both sides of the sidewalk and
a huge "Go Ducks" banner hangs between the marble columns while the UofO fight
song blares from hidden speakers. "Thank you for the house, God! But let me
ask you a question. I get this little 2-bedroom shack with a faded banner, and
Mike Belllotti gets a mansion with Duck banners and flags flying all over the
place. I didn't think football records make a difference in heaven. Why is his
house so much nicer?" God looks at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Bellotti's
house" God says. That's mine!"
courtesy of Joan Vasbinder
There is this Duck fan who is married to a Beaver woman. He loves her with all of his heart, but just can't get past the fact that she is a Beaver fan and therefore, kinda slow. He thinks long and hard and comes to a decision. As much as he loves the Ducks, he loves her more. He decides to become an OSU fan. After many unsuccessful tries (ie: buying as much nasty orange and black clothing as he can), he decides to enlist the aid of a doctor. "Doc, I want to become an OSU fan. Can you help me?", the Duckfan asks. "Well, it's quite simple. I just have to remove 1/3 of your brain. Are you sure that you want to go through with this?", the doctor asks. "I have no other choice. I love her", the desperate man says. The man wants to have the surgery right away. The doctor (A WSU alumn) begins the procedure. During the operation, his hand slips, and he cuts out too much of the poor Duck fan's brain. While the man is recuperating, the doctor is pacing around his bedside. Finally, the patient starts to stir. The doctor rushes over and says, Sir ! I'm so sorry, there's been an accident, I mistakenly removed 2/3 of your brain!". The patient looks up at the doctor with a big smile on his face and says: "Go Dawgs !!".
Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying a load of pigs that flipped over on the Husky campus? The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.
What do you get when you breed a groundhog and an OSU beaver? Six more weeks of bad football.
How come the Beaver football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "W's" together.
What are the best four years of a Huskies life? Third grade.
What's the difference between Washington Husky fans and a litter of puppies ? Eventually, the litter of puppies grow up and stop whining.
A Husky fan and a Husky football player were walking in the woods. The player says to the fan, "Hey, look at the moose tracks !!" The fan looks at him and says, "Those aren't moose tracks, those are bear tracks !". They were still arguing when the train hit them.
A little girl went before the judge & was asked, "where do you want to live, with your mother?" "No, my mom beats me.", she replied. "Would you like to live with your father ?" the judge questioned. "No, he beats me too !!" she exclaimed. The judge looked at her with pity and said, "well, little girl, who do you want to live with ?" "Oregon Sate", she gleamed, "They can't beat anybody".
A beaver fan and a huskie
fan were invited by a mutual friend to do some bird hunting on his ranch in
Oregon. The pair and their host went out on his ranch to a beautiful area near
a pond and his neighbor, a duck fan. The huskie fan had the first shot and of
course he missed his bird. Now the beaver fan's turn arrived and he promptly
dropped his bird, but it fell on duck neighbors' side of the fence. The beaver
was about to climb over the fence when the neighbor drove up on his 4-wheeler.
"What do you think you're doing?" the duck fan said. "I'm gettin' my bird!"
replied the beaver fan. "No your not!" replied the duck fan. "Look, I'm a high
powered lawyer and if you don't let me get my bird, I'll sue the hell out of
you!" said the beav. "OK, let's settle this by our local rules-the 3 kick rule."
"What's that?" said the beav. "Well we each kick each other 3 times until one
of us doesn't want to continue." said the duck fan. "OK, sounds fair" said the
beav. The duck fan says "Since your bird is on my property, I get to go first"
The duck fan promptly kicks the beav right in the family jewels and he drops
to his knees in pain, the next kick is right in the face, which drops the beav
to the ground, and the 3rd kick is right in the ribs. The beav passes out from
the pain, but after about 5 minutes he manages to pull himself up to his hands
and knees and says to the duck fan "OK, now it's my turn!" The duck fan replies
"I give up, go get your bird!"
courtesy of Steve Coats
One day, Coach Rick gave each of his young recruits a box of animal crackers after a hard practice. One of the recruits began spreading them all over the table. "What are you doing?" asked coach Rick. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the Husky explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
A Husky grad decides he wants to raise chickens. So he goes to a feed store, buys a bunch of baby chicks, plants 'em feet-first in the ground, and sadly after a couple days they die. He figures he's doing something wrong, so he goes back to the feed store and buys more chicks. This time he plants 'em headfirst, and they die even faster. Now this UW grad is at his wit's end, so he decides to write to his alma mater, tell them what he's doing, and see if maybe they have any suggestions. Two weeks later he gets a note back from UW asking for a soil sample.
A Husky alum wants his son to go to UW, but the son's IQ is too high. Since the alum really wants his son to be a Husky he agrees to test an IQ-reducing machine. The Husky scientist explain to the father and son that the machine is experimental and has never been tested. The chance for his son to be a Husky makes the risk acceptable to the farmer. They strap the son into the machine and turn it on. His IQ starts dropping. 130...110...100...90...80...70...60... When the scientist flips the OFF switch, nothing happens. The son's IQ keeps dropping. 40...30...10...0...-10...-20. The scientist finally pulls the plug and stops the machine. The alum runs to his son and screams, "Son, say something!" The son looks him right in the eye and says, "Go Dawgs!"
Q: How many U of W freshman
does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: What does the average Husky player get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: Why do Husky football
players have such small steering wheels in their cars?
A: So they can drive with handcuffs on.